the grass is always greener

i have to stop visiting my friends homes. really.

i'm not trying to be antisocial. i just have this problem when i visit the homes of my more artistically inclined, design-oriented friends, i find that i become discontent with the contents/decor of my own home. i find they have such fabulous furniture and such stylish paint colors and such trendy knick-knacks and such up-to-date electronics that it's just impossible for me to be satisfied.

and i am so not the keep-up-with-the-joneses type. plenty of people have complimented my decor choices, and for the most part i'm comfortable with my home (except for a few pieces of furniture that i could benefit from owning but don't yet have.)

but now, i look around and everything seems so college-esque. those old photos in those ratty frames. that old music poster (but at least it's in a poster frame). that ill-fitting slip cover on that dog-chewed couch. that chair and ottoman which i acquired for free.

the problem is, i can't afford to make my home look like pottery barn central. i make decent money, but after the mortgage, car payment, grocery bill, gas bill, pet treats, new clothes and other incidentals are all paid for, well, there's just not much left. and what's left either goes toward my six-months' salary reserve or vacation. plus i really, really, really need to get those scratches and dents on my car fixed. sigh.

the thing is, these people with the uber-trendy homes really can't afford them either. their jobs pay worse than mine (which at times is hard to believe). i don't know if it's mom and dad paying or the credit side of credit cards, but for me, neither is an option.

i need to win the lottery. i need to play the lottery.